I was just reading an eBay ad for a guitar. The seller said the guitar had "issues." What I wanna know is, how can a guitar have "issues?" They can't even think, fer cryin' out loud!
There are no longer "problems" in this world. Corporate-speak has driven the word "problem" deep underground, if it survives at all. Problems are bad. No one wants problems. So they no longer exist. They have become merely "issues" and "opportunities" in the corporate world, something to be resolved through discussion and mutual agreement.
That bizarre corporate culture has spread out and now infects us all.
The other day a woman told me she was concerned because the transmission on her car had "issues." Issues, I asked? How the hell can a transmission have "issues?" Baby transmissions maybe?
From "issues," (not problems,) to "moving forward," (so we know we aren't going to be moving sideways,) to "on the ground," (for those few times when we aren't in the air,) we've become willing dupes of corporate-speak.
Instead of being laughed at by the populace, these ridiculously applied words and phrases have become pervasive throughout our culture. That's sad, very sad. Unfortunately, it says much about us and our own brain power, or lack thereof, and the power of corporate-think to mold us to its will.
If they can convince us to regurgitate this piffle, what else are we unknowingly twisting into inane foolishness as we desperately attempt to communicate rationally with one another? How much more harm have they done to us and our language that we are hardly even even aware of?
You tell me. I'm far too infected with corporate-speak to know for sure any more. I totally long for the days when I like suffered like no more than a mild case of like Valley Girlitis. You know?